Everyone Wants To Bang Paris Hilton Up

Paris Hilton Jail Court Probation Drink-Driving 45 DaysThere's a good chance that Paris Hilton hasn't been in this much trouble since she told Rick Salomon "Sure, I'll let you film me wanking you off just this once - but you have to promise that you won't start selling it on the internet, OK?"

Today Paris Hilton goes to court to face a hearing that claims she violated the terms of her probation stemming from her drink-driving arrest last September. And it's a serious hearing, too - if Paris Hilton is found to have violated her probation then she faces 90 days in jail. Of course, the prosecutors know that 90 days in prison would kill a delicate flower like Paris Hilton, and that's why they're only recommending that Paris Hilton gets banged up for 45 days. That may still sound a lot, but the reduced sentence means that Paris Hilton will have to perform 50% fewer unpleasant forced acts of cunnilingus on hefty professional jailbirds during her time in the slammer, which isn't really to be sniffed at.

When you're as rich, wonky-eyed and responsibility-free as Paris Hilton, trouble usually just slides off you. When Paris Hilton was rubbish in House Of Wax nobody batted an eyelid. When nobody bought any of Paris Hilton's albums, it was just shrugged off. When Paris Hilton pissed herself in a taxiÉ well, OK, the driver probably wasn't very happy, but everyone else just rolled their eyes and got on with their lives.